- Holly Bousman
I love coffee and am usually uninterested in tea altogether, but this new spot, Platform T, is one of my favorite places to end date night. My boyfriend and I have one of their original menus and have been marking off the teas we've tried as we go. So far, we’ve tried 10 out of 54. Not too shabby!
One of my favorite things to do here is to put down our phones and really talk to each other. I especially love it when we get to talk about the “big stuff.” We don't always get to deep talks, sometimes the evening is just about laughing and being together. Those nights are great too!
However, if you’re wanting your conversation to go a little deeper the next time you're with someone you care about, I've compiled my top 3 favorite questions to have in your back pocket.
1. Just checking in: How are you?
Checking in is something that needs to happen often. It opens the doors of communication wide so you each feel freedom to get into the deeper stuff of life. It can be scary, especially if you think the other person's answer might be negative. I promise, though, it’s always better to ask, listen and allow real emotions out than to bottle them up. And guess what, the more often you check in with each other, the more quickly you can resolve the little things. Then those little things don’t ever have a chance to build up to bigger things!
2. What have you been thinking about/working on lately?
It can be really fun to hear what the person is working on. You can help them get creative and see things they haven't seen before. You'll want to listen to see what they're aiming for in their work. You can use these things to be an encouragement in their life and keep them motivated. A follow-up question to this would be "What are your goals in your work or whatever you've been thinking about?" The point of this question is to be wide-open. Let it take you where you might not have gone otherwise!
3. What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
Fears hold us back in life, but this question will spark a conversation about something he or she is passionate about. Maybe he has a strong desire to start up a business, lead a men’s group, or go on an adventure. Maybe she wants to have another kid, make a big move, or tackle a tough project. You can be an encourager in those dreams and help your friends look for opportunities to fulfill them.
Training yourself to ask good questions and listening carefully to the answers will make you a better friend and your relationships deeper and stronger.
Look! I’m standing at the door and knocking. If any hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to be with them, and will have dinner with them, and they will have dinner with me.
Know this, my dear brothers and sisters: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to grow angry.
Thanks for stopping by!